Pika-Druuunk
by threepikachar
Summary: this is a story written a long time ago that just got posted.... for humor purposes only


Disclaimer: We do not own Pokemon or anyhting for that matter.... we just make up stuff.  
  
  
What Shall We Do With a Drunken Pikachu?  
By Pikachu's Girl and Charmander's Bitch  
  
Ash: 12  
Misty: 13  
Brock: 15  
  
Togepi died. Misty was devastated. To make her feel better, Ash, Brock, and all the pokemon took her out for drinks.   
  
Little did they know, Misty could not hold her liquor. Two hours and four kegs later, Misty and Ash were passed out on the table, Brock was in a heap on the floor. Pikachu let all the pokemon out, bent on having a "bitchin' pokemon party." The only thing missing was more beer and cheap hookers. Pikachu knew how to get the beer. The hookers weren't exactly a problem either. Misty wasn't waking up, after all. But Ash was.... hmm. This could be a problem, but Pikahu didn't think it was, considering that Ash's actions so far had been limited to groping Misty. "Leg..." he muttered, licking her thigh, and vomiting. Misty woke up long enough to shove her tongue down his throat and slap him.   
Ash: I'll never understand women... Brock... you know, I like that vest...  
Brock: Nurse Joy... I've never seen you in a hat...   
Ash (crying): I love you man!  
Brock: You're still not getting in my pan- well, maybe this once.... it's been a while...  
Misty was just watching with perverse interest, remembering to grab the camera... with that AND the bike, she had Ash over one HELL of a barrel.   
Pikachu yelled in a slurred tone, "Alright, boy's night out!" as he ushered Ash, Misty, and Brock into their own room. This could get messy. As Charmander struggled with the idea of a doorknob, the rest of the pokemon took it upon themselves to find a way out. The house then had one more hole in the wall and one LESS window.   
THE FRONT LAWN  
Pikachu sat in his lawn chair, having a heated discussion on Ash's "borrowed" cell phone.   
Pikachu: Pika, Pika pi, pika chu! Chu! [Alright, mother fucker, I want four kegs of Everclear and two cases of Absolut Vodka! And don't mess with me! I could rip you a new ass!] click  
Bulbasaur: [Pikachu, where's the fun?! Where's the beer?! Where's the girls?! I'm a very lonely POKEMON!!!]  
All the others agreed with Bulbasaur. Pikachu would deliver, or Pikachu... would die. All of a sudden, a truck pulled up and, in classic anime style, a party was automatically set up. The pokemon all cheered, but Pikachu was having second thoughts. Here he was, hiring cheap, easy women while his girlfriend sat at home with the Swahilian flu. But fuck her. These were women... reeeaaal pokemon women. And besides, what Skylar doesn't know won't hurt her.. she'd do the same thing. The first hooker stepped out... carrying a keg... an attractive Bulbasaur, and she had her eyes on Pikachu. "It's gonna be a looooong night" he thought to himself with a smile on his face and a bulge in his fur.   
MEANWHILE, IN ASH'S ROOM  
Misty: WHAT ARE YOU?!  
Ash: I'm a naughty naughty boy!!  
Brock: I'll tell you what *I* am...  
Ash and Misty: SHUT UP!! And go back to masturbating in the corner!!  
Misty: You're sad!  
Brock: Masturbating? Corner? Ooohhh.... Little Brock and I have BIG plans for tonight...  
Ash: *coughemphasisonthelittlepartcough*  
Misty: Ash, you naughty boy, bend over!!   
Ash: Misty, didn't we talk about this little dominatrix fetish of yours?  
Misty: But I agreed to wear the fake mustache for YOU...  
Brock: Thaaaat's it, little Brock... oh yeah.... no d'oh!!! Nobody talk, it makes it crawl back up!!!  
BACK TO THE FRONT YARD  
We see a very tired Pikachu. It looks like all the Pokemon are satisfied. There is only one hooker left.   
Pikachu: (to himself) WHY does evryone wanna fuck with the little yellow mouse????  
Sarah Jean is a nasty little slut who likes ugly old men.   
But I digress...  
Suddenly, the umsic came on and the lights went low... out popped Brock. He was straddling some poor pikachu, looking for love. He didn't know it was wrong... but he'd soon find out.   
Brock: GEW! PAIN! SEVERE, SEARING BURNING PAIN!  
Brock was, of course, screaming about the third degree electric burns to his member. No doctor would be able to fix this. He sat in the corner, trying not to cry and failing miserably, as Misty and Ash walked in... looking strangely relaxed and smelling of cigarette smoke. Oddly enough, Ash was wearing girl's shorts and Misty had his hat on backwards. Brock KNEW they didn't go IN there dressed like that. He didn't care. As long as they didn't make him participate. THAT would be bad. .. He'd had nightmares like that...  
Misty and Ash sauntered over to the bar, stumbling and  
making a general mess wherever they went. Ash poured two more  
drinks, one for Misty, one for himself.  
  
ASH: Hey Misty, wanna go "ride my bike?"  
MISTY: Sure. I need exercise and i can't get any because you destroyed *my* bike!!!  
BROCK: GEW!!  
  
THE NEXT MORNING  
Charmander: Charrr...  
Pikachu: NOT so LOUD...  
Pikachu looks up at the scene. He see Bulbasaur tied to a tree by his vines and all the hookers he slept with laying in a pile on the groud puking. Oh no Pikachu thought...its morning sickness. (This is assuming that Pokemon have a gestation rate of abouit a week so the signs of pregency are seen in hours)  
Pikachu gets a vision of millions of crossbred Pikachu's all shouting.."Quieres tu papa?" and creating havoc everywhere. Suddenly he gets a itch at his danger zone. Then he sees several Kringler.   
Pikachu: No NOT CRABS!!!!!!  
  
  
Ash: Where am I? Where's Pi- DEAR LORD! MISTY WAKE UP! What did I- what did SHE...? Oh God...  
Misty: JESUS MARY AND JOSEPH IN TINSLE TOWN!!!  
  
They weren't yelling about the fact that they had sex, anyone who's EVER seen the show has seen THAT coming.. rather about the fact that now laying between them was Brock, hugging Ash's leg and clutching at a female Nidoran's ears. Misty's crotch began to itch, and Brock woke up to her complaining, explaining that "it's ok, herpes can be a real bitch for the first 24 hours...here's some ointment, and Ash, I wouldn't leave just yet."  



End file.
